Not If You Break Up With Me First: Eve & Andrew’s Advice for Navigating a BFF Crush

Summer is on the horizon, which means we’re ready for sunny days spent sitting in the park or planted poolside with a stack of new reads. If you’re anything like us, you’re reaching for something to pair with the sunny vibes, whether it be an exciting adventure or, in the case of Not If You Break Up With Me First by G.F. Miller, rom-com hilarity!

Eve and Andrew are lifelong besties. They know each other better than anyone, are always there for each other, and always make each other laugh the hardest. Eve is super excited for Andrew to come back from a vacation with his parents, but when he gets home, everything is different. Does it mean anything that Andrew missed Eve a whole lot when he was gone or that Eve is noticing that Andrew is kinda cute for the first time? On top of the confusion, everyone at school is crush-crazy, and as the eighth-grade dance looms closer, Eve starts feeling the pressure and asks Andrew to go with her.

Suddenly, everyone seems to think they’re destined to be together or that they’re basically in love. It’s super weird and uncomfortable, but since neither of them really knows how to handle it and feel the pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations, they just kinda go with it. The thing is, they both only see each other as friends, and neither of them wants to hurt each other’s feelings. Instead of just talking about things the way they always do, they try to drive the other one to break up with them first by acting like the worst boyfriend or girlfriend ever, leading to a whole slew of pranks, misunderstandings, and total emotional chaos.

This read is perfect for summer. It’s hilarious and totally nails the embarrassing, messy, totally out-of-control feelings of being thirteen, first crushes, middle school, and friendship. Things are never as simple as we want them to be, and even the best of friends sometimes make mistakes. You’ll aww, laugh, and cringe your way through this fantastic story and then totally cry-smile at the ending, all things you want out of your feel-good summer read.

Since Eve and Andrew are basically experts on the subject, we asked them to help our readers navigate the total confusion of crushing on your BFF, written by author G.F. Miller.

What Should I Do if I Have a Crush on My Best Friend?

Crushing on your BFF? Don’t fret! Eve and Andrew from Not If You Break Up With Me First are here to share their advice!

EVE: First of all, if you have a crush on your best friend, you are not alone! It happens to a lot of people. You already know each other really well, you probably spend a lot of time together, and obviously you already click. So it makes total sense that you might go there emotionally.

For me, there is so much that I love about Andrew as my best friend. He never makes me explain things I’m not ready to talk about (like my parents fighting all the time). He makes me laugh when I need it most. He knows what I love…and what I hate (close talkers, mole hairs, pudding, gross noises. I could keep going). Anyway, the point is, sometimes best friends make the best boyfriends!

ANDREW: Yeah, but if you’re anything like me, you’re probably constantly worried that your pits are too sweaty or your breath stinks or you have pimples. It’s hard to tell anybody—especially your best friend—that you like them because what if they’re like, “Eew. Gross.”

EVE: Obviously “do not stink” is rule number one. Do all the things—shower, brush your teeth, double up on deodorant. But also, at some point, you have to get over it.

ANDREW: Ouch.

EVE: I just mean, decide that you are worthy of love. Every human person has bad breath or a bad hair day or not perfect skin at some point. That stuff doesn’t disqualify you. And to be honest, other people usually don’t notice half the stuff you do. If they’re really a good friend, they like you for who you are, zits and all. 

ANDREW: Aw, thanks <3

EVE: Don’t make this weird.

ANDREW: Another problem with having a crush on your best friend is that you just don’t know if they like you like that. When you’re just friends, the relationship feels perfectly in sync. But then you start feeling like there could be more, and it’s like a new rhythm just got thrown in with the old one. It might work. Or it might crash and burn. The scary thing is, if you tell your friend about your crush, there’s a real risk of making things awkward and even losing the friendship. And, to make it worse, maybe they’re giving mixed signals (like going hot and cold, or being one way when you’re alone and different when other friends are around).

EVE: Mixed signals are the worst!! 

ANDREW: …

EVE: What?!

ANDREW: …

EVE: Look, I’m a teenager. My hormones can be completely out of control, and I’m prone to thought spirals, and I second guess myself kind of a lot. So if I’m giving mixed messages, it’s probably because I’m mixed up inside. I’m not being a brat on purpose!

ANDREW: Okay. Fine. But can I just say that texts can be super confusing? Like, sometimes the person takes a long time to text you back or they just text back one word or something. And then you’re over-analyzing every little thing and thinking, “What did I do wrong?” I would say that, for really important stuff—like telling your friend you have a crush on them—it’s way better to actually talk. It’s scarier. But better. And also, if you wouldn’t say it in person, maybe don’t text it. 

EVE: I’m feeling targeted right now.

ANDREW: …

EVE: I guess this would be a good time to say that, we all make mistakes. Your bff isn’t perfect, and neither are you. The best thing is to admit when you’re wrong, apologize, and try to learn from it. Trust me, even major mess ups can turn out okay if you really care about each other. Speaking of major mess ups… here’s a HUGE thing I’ve learned: emotions are jerks.

ANDREW: I genuinely worry about you.

EVE: Hear me out. Things happen, and your emotions are screaming, “THIS IS THE END OF ALL THINGS!!” Because of your jerky, overreacting emotions, you might do or say or scream something that you’ll regret later. 

ANDREW: Like literally destroy a school event? 

EVE: Overshare. So, anyway, when all the emergency alarms are blaring in your brain, you just maybe need to tell yourself, “I’ll deal with that tomorrow.” Literally walk away and hide if you need to. Whatever is on fire might burn itself out by tomorrow. So just give yourself some space and time. (Oh my gosh, spacetime! Get it? I’m about to nerd out so hard about astrophysics.)

ANDREW: Focus, please. We’re talking about what you should do if you have a crush on your best friend.

EVE: Okay, but for real, while you’re giving yourself space, try to think about other things besides your crush or whatever you’re freaking out about. Take a mental break from the situation. Focus on other things you’re interested in, go for a run, read a book—

ANDREW: I like to pound the crap out of my drums. It’s a great way to relieve tension.

EVE: Yes! The whole neighborhood knows when you have big feelings. LOL.

ANDREW: Okay—last thing. And it’s a big one. When you tell your friend that you want more, it has to be okay for them to say either yes or no. 

EVE: Ugh. Rejection. I hate it so much.

ANDREW: I mean, nobody likes hearing no. But if you can kind of accept it and not push them to explain or prove that they’re serious, you can still go back to being friends. If you really care about them, then don’t trash the friendship. You have to love and accept them where they’re at, not where you want them to be. 

EVE: It helps to remember that you’re not at the end of your story. You’re in the middle. In just about every book or movie, everything is trash and on fire in the middle. That’s when you just have to hold on for the happy ending. It might not be the one you expected, but your happy ending will come someday.

ANDREW: Look who turned out to be a hopeless romantic. <3

EVE: If you tell anyone, I might have to kill you.

ANDREW: Dude, this is literally going on the internet.

EVE: …

ANDREW: Okay, we’re done. Good luck with your crush! Let us know if you decide to tell them and how it goes, or if you need any more advice!  

(Since Eve and Andrew’s helicopter moms won’t let them have social media, and because they’re fictional, you can contact them at gfmiller.com or on Instagram @author.gfmiller)

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